“Tough break this Alzheimer’s,” these were the words uttered out of the mouth of the afflicted mother to her daughter.
The daughter and I shared a smile over this comment, half laughing and crying all in one breath, we are good friends and we can do that. In private, I let the words just linger for a while, in my heart and in my mind because they were so insightful even if it was just a fleeting moment of clarity; so profound, so true and so unfair.
As family members how do we handle these moments? What do we do with the words that are being bestowed to us by our loved ones who are suffering from this debilitating disease? Their words can sometimes sound like lyrics to a song with an underlying meaning and they seem to be thrown at us during our weakest hours; they catch us by surprise and they can rock our world.
We cling on to them, tuck them away into the recesses of our minds, or write them down and cherish the glimpses that our loved one is sharing with us of their former selves during their long goodbye…that is all we can do. One day they will be gone and it will be their astuteness that we should remember them for; it is their gift to us. The intent may be nebulous as we are riddled with sadness and exhaustion from caregiving but when the darkness vanishes and the clouds part, we will see their words etched in the sky as the sun illuminates their meaning and then we will find peace knowing it was a “tough break,” but we did the best we could and that was all they ever needed from us.
